We struggle to improve ourselves, with lists of goals taped to our bathroom mirror and images of slim healthy people taunting us from the fridge, often in vain.
Change is not mapped out well in our culture. We are expected to be able to do it using just our intentions without clearly understanding the brain’s urgent need for constancy, safety, comfort and survival.
Pushing ourselves (and others) too hard or in a wrong direction is like trying to stretch out an elastic band and hold. Eventually we get tired and let go, rebounding back into old habits with a vengeance. We only have so much self-discipline as a physical brain function.
Does this mean we allow ourselves to indulge in anything until we have some magical insight?
No, this doesn’t work either; it only strengthens bad habits—and low self-esteem!
Change is a subtle thing, a profound process of evolution that happens effortlessly when we are ready. As we become aware of our real physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs, we can take the next steps that are right for us.
Many things facilitate this transformational awareness, but only when used with honesty, self-acceptance and humility by all parties involved. They include heart to heart conversations in safe environments, mindful meditation, constitutional homeopathy, overcoming challenges, grateful prayer and being with people whose love can reach in and touch our soul. It is from our soul that we manifest our best self…however getting through the layers of pain that cover it needs to be a careful process; go too quickly and resistance kicks back.
Maybe, instead of pinning photos of cool people to our mirror, we can gaze at images of folks who radiate wisdom, humour, acceptance and peace, nudging us to be kind to ourselves on this challenging, human part of our journey. Slower is faster.