Most of us believe we make our choices of our own volition. For some we believe we consciously express our wants, our needs, and our desires through the one aspect we feel we have control over.
What if we are not controlling our choices? What if our choices are controlling us driven by deep seeded unconscious needs for love, security, appreciation, validation, fill in your own blanks?
What if our choices are made from a place of avoidance, moving away from that which we fear such as being alone, living in poverty, not meeting societal expectations, not feeling good enough, etc.
Have you ever experienced a time when you did something you would rather not do? A time when from somewhere deep within a voice or a knowing or a feeling was telling you this isn’t right, or it simply doesn’t feel good in your body. Sometimes that voice is quiet, a fleeting whisper, easily ignored. Other times it screams loudly and will eventually make itself known to you be it through physical, mental/emotional and/ or spiritual dis-ease and dis-comfort.
How many times in our lives have we felt unwell and chose to force our way through own discomfort?
How many of us choose our careers based on our parent’s desire for us to exceed beyond their own accomplishments or alternatively go in the extreme opposite direction because we wouldn’t be controlled. Either way the choice stems from the exact same place – unconsciousness.
How many of us have stayed in relationships long past their “sell by date” simply because we were afraid to be alone?
How many times have we allowed others to disrespect and dishonor ourselves simply because we were afraid to say no for fear of the consequences?
Just for a moment, bring into your awareness a time when you did or said something, OR didn’t do or didn’t say that which needed to be said or done. Check in with yourself in that moment. What were you feeling, what was underlying that choice? Fear of disappointing others, fear of exclusion, loss, or abandonment? Wanting to do the “right” thing? Wanting to be accepted by others? How about the “Peace at any Price game”, if I say or do what I really think, mean, or want the consequences could be dire.
Maybe you chose to deny yourself and opted out of feeling anything at all; akin to opting out of life itself.
Sooner or later, one way or another the overwhelm, confusion, depression, doubt, pain and fear overcomes you and life can become challenging heavy, hard and meaningless.
Ask yourself, and more importantly be willing to hear the answer. What were those choices born of for you?
For some we are aware we are making choices that may not be in our best interests or that may not feel very good. For others we are totally unconscious of the fact that we even have choice in many situations.
The truth is choice is available to us in every moment…or is it?
For many the ability to consciously choose for ourselves what we wanted or didn’t want was taken from us at a very young age.
Lets get real!
How many of us would really have chosen to be teased, bullied, humiliated or abused be it physically, sexually or emotionally as young children.
As children we are often “commanded” to do things by our parents, the educational, religious and health care systems. To choose to go against the “commands” would surely result in punishment ranging from grounding, withdrawn privileges, physical and or emotional abuse, shutout or being ignored all of which leave us feeling fearful, humiliated, resentful, angry, ashamed and anxious to name but a few.
These feelings create our life experience, shape our choices and are solid indicators for us that we have not had clear and conscious choice at our disposal in that moment.
The question is do we REALLY live our lives choosing our experiences from a place of clarity and consciousness.
Is a choice driven by self-sabotaging, self-limiting, self-destructive belief systems really a choice at all?
Our choices shape, color and create our relationship with ourselves which in turn shapes, colors and creates every relationship we have with others and every experience in our lives.
What is it that we would choose from our deepest desires? Not from that which we were taught in school, church, at home, from friends, or learned from past relationships but from a clear and conscious place within.
And what exactly does that mean.
Consciousness and Clarity to name but a few are relative terms. One can only know unconsciousness once one has become conscious.
One can only recognize disintegration once one has become integrated. As an example, it is often times the case we only appreciate our health and our bodies after we have had the flu or cancer or any debilitating dis-ease, or appreciate the financial stability our employment offers us after we have been laid off from our jobs.
So the real question is. How many of our choices are driven from the internalization or embodiment of our family conditioning, religious beliefs, cultural conditioning, gender specific belief’s and rules; media driven ideologies, etc. And somehow from all of it we have come to believe the composition of the beliefs and rules we carry inside ourselves constitutes who we really are and drives our every choice.
We have heard it be said that we are born free, yet we live in prison held hostage by rules and belief systems that are not of our own choosing.
Remember…. YOU ARE NOT BROKEN! You have simply forgotten the truth of who you really are, your divine authentic self.
It would be my honor to assist you in unraveling and dissolving the false aspects of yourself. To book a private session with Jean please contact her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
To Thine Own Self Be True!